Education was wasted on me.

I slept a total of 12 hours tonight and the things that visit me in this length of a reverie are chilling. Parts of my life I forget gets played out again in my mind, twisting the facts and somehow still being historicly accurate. I’ve always been amused by my dreams, it’s a new movie every night. Last night was horror night. The ghosts that stalk even my dreams can be strange and wild to behold. A past I don’t care to remember somehow recorded on my brain, a dusty reel of film gets some rerun time. All the faces i’ve long since left for the dead. How starkly different a person I was.

I’d like to think i’m reborn. The past allowed to disintegrate in the mists of time. God knows why people dig it up for me. It’s a tumult that I don’t care to live through again. I’m expecting more visits. It’s always the fabled trinity. The ghosts of the past visits you, then the present and the future. I hope the others are gentle when they pounce.

I bet I fooled whoever’s read my first post to believe that i’ve stopped this nonsense of blogging. 2 days without a post. I’m sorry, i’m back with another one.

Yesterday I was inspired, I feel a tingling of passion in my typing fingers to make some politically incorrect statements.

I have to admit, i’m Malaysian. Sadly, sadly Malaysian. A country which takes pride in a ridiculously tall building and totally forgetting about stymied beauracracies, corrupt law enforcement, atrocious washroom hygiene and til yesterday, I forgot about suicidal pedestrians.

I don’t know what gets into some people of the same species as I am and of whom I assume have gone through the same multimillion years of evolution. They still seem to have the same intelligence of the amoeba they’ve evolved from. They still have an undying urge to assume the form of a splotch of organic material. But why under my tyres? Why at the cost of my car’s bumper? Can’t they empathize I spend enough on car maintenance as it is? Don’t they know shrapnels of human bone can puncture my tyres that would cost at least 100 bucks each to replace? Must they dent my ride with their legs moved along by their desire to lose a limb or their lives? A busted windscreen would be… grr….

I do try to emphathize with these people. Before anyone accuses me of being sensitive and caring for doing so, I am only contemplating the thoughts on the minds of these people just for the sake of understanding their motives. No matter how many times I run this question in my head “If a tonne and a half of metal is moving along the path I want to walk across.. would I wait till it passes or I walk right onto it’s path first?” My choice is to wait. It’s simple. No questions of whether the driver would have the courage to run me through and questions of what my life would be like as a paraplegic. The answer is just too obvious and to prevent such circumstances is just too easy.

Somehow these homo sapiens imposters managed to get this thought in their head to walk right into the car’s path looking straight at it and forcing(not to mention expecting) the driver of the car to veer away. Well i’m sure it’s fun to think “Fuck all! I’m crossing and i’d break a leg doing it!” but is it too hard to understand car repairs don’t come cheap even though I drive an 8 year old Wira?

Ok this is as much as I would waste time ranting about these jackasses. Know this suicidal pedestrians, the next time one of you decide to walk into my cars path, be sure to die. You don’t want me stealing any dignity from your already pointless life by laughing out loud with my hands on my hips and planting a foot on your face. At least break a leg. Stick if under my tyres just to be sure. Because if I get out of my car and don’t see some carnage, you’ll be given a wrench to properly create a bloody mess of yourself before I do so myself.

To all suicidal pedestrians, if you really want to be considerate and know you have a tendency to walk in front of moving cars as above, then do me a favour and jump from the top of our greatest pride, KLCC Twin Towers and martyr yourself as an Malaysian icon jumping from another. That would be much cooler and dignified.

Until I decipher the mystery of shoeprints on Malaysian toilet seats…

End Post #2

Why you ask?

Why am I starting to blog? Some of the more conventional reasons for blogging are:

1. To badmouth your significant other quietly and safely

2. To make people think you’re intelligent enough to string a few words together.

3. To lie about your life and making it seem more interesting as it is.

4. To post pictures of yourself flossing and make it seem more attractive than it is.

5. To whine endlessly in dramatic fashion without using the telephone to a mass audience.

6. To be popular and provide an outlet for sycophants.

7. To think that people cares about what you think.

I can think of a couple more, but I strive to be both conventional and unconventional. I started this blog.. don’t laugh now…

In the memory of Bob Marley.

Yes. This great man in dreadlocks who taught me the mantra of “no woman no cry”. Never mind the fact that it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t feel cry without a woman. It does the trick.

I remember starting a blog once, all I could think to write was something along the lines of

9:15am: Woke up, I pissed. Aimed well. No spills.
10:00am: Drank water. Kidney filters. Fills bladder.

Then it only struck me recently when I tried to rap those lines that they rhymed somewhat. Then I knew. I’m a genius!

So what’s the point of keeping all my ingenuity to myself when I can type 80 words per second without looking?(apart from trying to type 120 words per second and coming up with a really good book for publishing to achieve fame and fortune)

And thus this blog shall represent those ambitions shattered for the sake of my amusement. Of me knowing someone out there is reading my ramblings at the expense of doing something productive. I think i’ll fracture a couple of ribs laughing if I get comments. I might just send my avid(i’m very sure there would be of course) readers some soiled pants and and rib splinters in appreciation of their patronage.

Why the litany of justifications? Because I just feel so stupid for starting a blog yet I feel so restless not typing nonsense.

I need somewhere to throw all my absurdity. And if you’ve read allllll the way down here, I’m very sorry.

End Post #1